


dying days

by alienboyv



Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Angst, Gen, Joey Drew is "Bendy" | Ink Bendy, M/M, Personal Growth, Relationship Growth, Unhealthy Relationships, hes TRYING ok, i wanna write them being In Love but also i. im better at writing angst than fluff, instead its learning to grow and acknowledge unhealthy doings back in the past hours, metaphorical and literal gore tw, update: in the middle of writing this i guess i just decided this is no longer fuck joey drew hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-08-28 14:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16725093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienboyv/pseuds/alienboyv
Summary: eyes full of hearts and lungs full of lies-i am but an imperfect man, who has been drawn to you. an attraction so strong and a man so undeserving of your love and yet i shall sit in your light and bathe in the attention you have bestowed upon me.i am but an imperfect manand you are but an angel





	dying days

**Author's Note:**

> i numbered the flashbacks !!
> 
> at one point i accidentally wrote "Henry scratches the back of my head" im-  
> tfw when u get tlc from the protag of an indie horror game.
> 
> also im trying not to make joey abusive, by no means. he's just a rash person and unhealthily obsessed (possessive? smth like that. also not a stalker or anything so dw) with henry. he has NEVER guilt-tripped or gaslit henry.  
> henry is a soft-spoken, reserved man but he's still human and can be rash and impulsive at times. he doesnt ignore joey or encourage unhealthy behaviors in joey.  
> their personality arent doomed but at times can clash.
> 
> take a shot everytime i say they scratched their head/neck, eyebrow raised, or eyes widened.

     "How could you fucking do this?" Hatred filled words came out of Henry's mouth. His blood was boiling, full of anger and disgust.

Years ago perhaps he could have talked Joey down calmly.  
Years ago he was a 30-something idiot who just wanted comfort and wasn't sure what to believe or what to do.

"Our friends! They're fucking ink! They're dead!" He shook his head and held his fist. "I heard the recordings, how you sucked everyone and everything of life just like you did me."  
The ink demon stared down at the man he loved in another lifetime, the man he still loved.

"You're disgusting and I just-" Henry gulped. "Why? Why do all of this?"

The ink demon shrunk and tried to form coherent words.  
"You left. I was...alone? Yes, very alone. Things went wrong." _Silence_. "It was never supposed to be like this."

Henry let out a grim laugh, "Yeah. No shit."

"I hate you. I do but it's so fucking horrible that I can't even decipher and I-" He hesitated. "I wanna hate you as much as I should. I hate you but you..."

He stepped closer, touching the once-human now-ink face. "You were my everything. This studio was my everything."

"If the Joey I once knew was here, he would have comforted me." The ink demon almost gasped at his words. "Not be the reason I'm like this."

"Here. He can be here." Henry scrunched his eyebrows.

"You can't keep doing this, trying to change yourself for me. Trying to get me to stay or let you stay. I am-"

"My everything."

"Your..." Henry stepped back. He ran towards the nearest exit and locked the door.

* * *

     Allison brings them back to their safe house after Henry returns from the ink machine.

Tom completely ignores Henry as the per usual until...

"I'm going to scope out the area, okay? I want you to stay here with Henry, maybe get a bit friendly?" She weakly and looks at Henry.

Tom (fake, silently) sighs but nods. He closes the door behind her. When he turns around Henry steps away.

"I won't bother you, sorry, just let me-" Tom stops him and points at the chair. "What?" He pats the seat and keeps pointing.

"Oh. Sorry." Henry sits down and looks up at Tom, sitting on the edge of the desk.

Tom takes out a piece of paper and ink pen. Writes down something and puts it in front of Henry.

_What happened in there?_

"Well, uh..."

_Did you see Joey?_

Henry eyes widened, "You remember him?!"

_Yes, I have my memories._

"Weirdly ironic how you're the one who can't talk."

_You're telling me. Back to the topic, you're stalling. Answer the damn question._

Henry scratches the back of his head. "He the Ink Demon. I just- I never realized how...bad we were. I wanted to just blame him but I didn't do to good either.

_You didn't decide to sacrifice people, right? I may not have liked you at first but you sure as hell aren't a cultist or whatever Joey was._

"That's not what I mean." Tom tips his head as Allison enters the room. He scratches down a few words before stuffing the note in Henry's pocket.

_This isn't over._

* * *

     Henry and Tom's (verbally) one-sided conversations continue as the three of them head up the studio.

"Why don't you tell her any of this?" Tom shows what Henry can only guess is shock.

_She doesn't know anything. I couldn't do that to her. She's not a naive little girl that has to be saved from being corrupted but I don't wanna tell her until I have all the facts._

"Oh. That...makes sense." Tom grabs another piece of paper ( _Seriously, where does he get these?_ ) and writes for a few minutes, erasing now and again.

He finally shows the note.

_I never met you but I heard about you. I didn't like mixing personal and professional, but when I did ask Joey about you he got angry. I had assumed you did something to upset him, but Wally told me that all you did was leave to everyone's knowledge. What happened?_

Henry stayed silent.

Tom nodded and left him be.

* * *

    (1) "Joey is a man of ideas. And only ideas." Henry felt so drained. He kept talking before stopping the tape recorder. 

Give and take, he says. He felt like he was constantly giving and giving to Joey but Joey never seemed to give.

At least, not normally. Not how he should have, instead he gave with desperate words and pleas. Dark nights brought dark thoughts, whispers of _I'd do anything for you. I'd cut off my arm. Just stay. Just stay with me, let me hold you please you're the only thing I have. I don't care if it kills me, I love-_

Whispers and cries. Whispers of _please no, we can't. I can't. Not again._ Cries of _please don't drag me back in or I won't be able to stop myself. Just who you are. I don't need you to change yourself, I just want-_

Want and love are two very different things.

* * *

     Inky vines traveled through the studio, catching up to Henry. He had been searching for some food and another way up, he ran towards the nearest miracle station.

He stopped when he saw the Ink Demon standing next to him.

Henry almost talked to it- _him_. Almost discussed the past and almost engaged in a civil conversation-

But he didn't. Instead, he bit his tongue and kept down words that had been bubbling up into existence. Unspoken things he wishes he could have said.

The Ink Demon just looked at him and walked away.

* * *

    (2) "You're leaving us?"

"Joey, you're still one of my best friends, and this place will always a place in my heart but-"

"What's wrong? What do you need? Is Linda upset you're staying late hours again?"

"Joey, listen. Let me explain before you start negotiating with me." Joey looked almost flabbergasted but had the mind to stop whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

"Okay, fine, I'm sorry. Just, please reconsider? I can do som-"Joey's eyes are pleading, still, Henry knows that voice all too well.

"Joe, I can't. I can't keep sacrificing myself for such a-" Bite your tongue like he did, Henry. You're supposed to be calm. "A one-sided arrangement." Joey's eyes widened.

"One-sided? I..." Joey looked down at his desk.

"Work-wise, sometimes..." Henry decided to soften his wording as to avoid unnecessary conflict. Joey's eyebrows raised and furrowed.

There are a few beats of silence.

"Where will you work? Does Linda have a job?"

"I'll likely stay in the industry. I didn't want to start looking for jobs just yet." He looked to his side to, unconsciously, avoid eye contact.

"...You're dismissed, Mr. Stein. I'll notify the others and try to finish the latest short."

"I already finished it in advance, but thank you, Joey." The atmosphere was somewhere in between awkward and on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, no problem. I..." One last pleading look, one last stare Joey gave that, unbeknownst to Joey, burned through Henry.

It felt like venom was spewing out the wounds.

_(Different from the venom that came out his mouth.)_

* * *

     Henry found the way back to the haunted house. He looked at the paintings and the seemingly clean floor, no ink stains of Boris or Alice Angel.

He saw something new on the floor, near where he remembered Boris to lay. A simple to-do list left by the absent janitor.

_Find keys before Thursday._

_Clean the ink in the viewing room._

_Talk to Thomas Connor. (Tommy.)_

_Go to Mr_ _. Drew_

Henry looked at it, remembering the 20 year old boy who came to work for the studio within the first year. He folded it and put it in his pocket.

The amusement park was the same, Allison seemed to be standing at the door to where the projectionist was.

"Henry? What is this?" She pointed at the trail of ink leading from the projector on the floor.

"Have you guys seen the projectionist?" She nodded. "Well, he saw me so I hid in the miracle station and, uh, it reached out at me and..." _He really didn't want to say this._

"The Ink Demon came in and killed the projectionist." She stared at him.

"The Ink Demon did _what?_ " He was about to answer when Tom came in, signaling that the door going out the amusement park was opened.

Her eyebrows scrunched up and looked back at Henry before shaking her head and walking out with them.

* * *

    (3) "Honey?" Linda came up to him with concern in her eyes.

He looked up at her and shook his head. "Joey's sick..."

Linda, though maybe not the biggest fan of Joey, was worried and curious. "With what? How sick?"

"They're not entirely sure yet but they think he's going to lose at least some of the use in his legs. I-" Linda gasped and sat next to him.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, we'll see him as soon as we can. Just keep him in your thoughts." She patted his back and let him be.

He thought back to every moment he had with Joey and felt pangs of guilt. He thought back to every moment before Linda and after Linda, before Bendy and after Bendy-

_Every moment they hurt._

* * *

    Henry still felt worried for Joey, still concerned for him. Like he had been once.

He wanted to say something, make up for everything, wanted to yell, he wasn't sure of anything.

When he saw the ink demon again, his instinct to flee was surging through him.

He fought that and finally said,

"Joey, can we...talk?" The ink demon actually _froze_. He stayed still but nodded. "Wow. Didn't think that would work."

* * *

     "I wasn't lying when I said I didn't you to change yourself. All I wanted was help with work and my friend, Joey." Words repeat themselves, calmer and better. Compassion.

"I didn't mean to force you into-" Henry shook his head.

"No, you never did. I decided on my own accord."

"...I was jealous of Linda and felt so possessive over you. I hated it and I knew it was unnecessary and unfounded but I saw how you looked at her. You loved her. I was so sure at first that you'd always stay with me and she was just a passing fad but that was selfish and self-centered. Which was, obviously, not out of the ordinary but still, towards you? It was...bad, really bad. Even for me." Henry stared in shock at the ink- Joey. The speech surprised him.

A part of Joey he missed so dearly. A part of Joey he hadn't seen in...god knows how long.

"I have so much more to say-"

"I think we both have a lot to say, so let's start talking. We can talk."

* * *

     Talking would never solve everything. It takes work, they both had to acknowledge that.

It's a bit hard with no therapist and when one of you is a demon but it can work.

"Is this the music department?" They turn the corner to see a giant sign saying MUSIC DEPARTMENT. "Well, that answers my question." Alice snorts and starts going to searching the area, Tom following her.

Henry grabs Tom's shoulder as she turns the corner, up to the projector room.

"Ok, listen, uh..." Henry looks nervous. "You don't have to tell her _everything_ but at least tell her _something_."

Tom just looked at him, confused where this was coming from.

"I'm just...you said she's not a child, right? She can handle this, just tell her something. She doesn't deserve to be in the dark, she deserves to know what happened to her."

Tom looked at him and headed off, not responding.

* * *

     The exit on that level seemed to lead to nowhere, likely closed off.

They continued up, looking for a way to the top floor.

Henry sighed when he saw reminiscent of Sammy's stay here. He still felt sorry for him, he never found peace.

He remembers Sammy as, though a disgruntled employee, a genuine man who was a nice presence.

_Lost himself in the faith that destroyed him._

* * *

    (4) "Samuel Lawrence?" Sammy looked up from his banjo to see a short man.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Henry Stein! You play wonderfully and I heard you composed these yourself? I think that's amazing and..." He smiled and fiddled with his sleeves. "I'd like to ask, would you like joining an animation company? We need a composer and I think you'd be great there!" The man was very soft-spoken and, luckily, wasn't rushing in his words.

Sammy cocked an eyebrow.

"I understand if that's not your speed..if you change your mind call me! I'll leave you to-" Sammy put a hand up.

"Wait a second, I'll come and check it out."

Within a week, Joey Drew Studios had a new member.

* * *

     Henry felt guilty, he had brought Sammy to the studios. Still, he knew who was at fault and...

It bothered him.

_Why did he think he could just look over that?_

It upset him.

_You can't just ignore this kinda stuff._

It engulfed him.

_How could all this happen?_

He stood and stared at the objects, the coffins, the ink stains. The memories of a downfall.

Ignoring things never made them better and he knew that and still...he tried to ignore the actions of a man he loved?

Henry shook his head in disgust.

* * *

     "I thought...I thought I could ignore what happened and..." He looked up at the demon. "...what _you_ did."

"I don't know why I thought that but I did and I..." He put his fingers on his temples. "I...There's so much I don't know or understand. So much I willfully let slip past me when I was here, things I didn't expect to happen. Didn't know could happen. How could I?" His head hurt, the flowing pipes thumping and _thumping and thumping and driving him up the wall._

They wanted everything to be fine, to fix their _past_ relationship. 

They should've focused on fixing their _current_ relationship.

* * *

      _Scratchy frames and heavy eyes._

Thoughts weighed down like boulders.

He didn't have enough time to screw around or enough time to be oblivious.

"This isn't over. We can...we can fix this. We can learn how to accept the past and move on from it. We can learn."

No more desperate attempts at a relationship. Handle it like they should've long ago, mold something for both of them. Mold something that they needed and still need.

You can't fix the past but you can try to make up for it.

_Construction._

* * *

    (5)  _Was it anger? Grief?_

Joey Drew stood, proud, in his masterpiece. He watched over the work taking place.

_He felt abandoned. Maybe that's what he deserved._

The hot tears of loss and pathetic composing of the decline of an empire.

He took a look at the picture of a man he knew, a man who could've been better than anyone here. 

A man who made Joey putty in his hands. Who, perhaps unbeknownst to him, had Joey wrapped around his finger.

_If he had said "Jump."_

_Joey would've said, "How high, **Henry?** " _

**Author's Note:**

> imagine being in an unhealthy relationship with ur friend and when y'all finally acknowledge how unhealthy is it was one of yall is an demon made out of ink that is supposes to be the character the other one made 30 years ago
> 
> thomas connor: ALL WOMAN... (pulls out a wrench) ...ARE QUEENS  
> joey drew, still jealous of linda: IF SHE BREATHES... (pulls put The Illusion of Living with a knife taped to it) ...SHES A THOT
> 
> also one reason you dont see everything get 'fixed' is bc well. i cant right years of improving a relationship.  
> that stuff takes time and it shldnt be expected to be fixed with a couple of convos.  
> another reason is idfk how it would work if henry turns off the ink machine.  
> i think henry will either periodically come back to help everyone there or  
> the people there will. yknow. become human again.  
> maybe thats hopeful thinking idk.


End file.
